(Monthly Recap) – March & April 2k19 // Non-Stop Panic, Pancakes, Black Summer, thanks! i hate it, Love, Death & Robots, Derry Girls + TBR Purge.


March was the most stressful month in forever. Life just kept throwing deadlines and problems at me and just added more things onto my to-do-list; I was down and sad and anxious and just not in a good mental and physical state. It was bad, soft hearts. I don’t want to think about it– I already have so much to do for the next semester at college while still reeling from the one before. It’s a disaster and I’m a mess. 

April was super weird overall — I was basically in this weird in-between phase the WHOLE month throughout. Physically? I moved back into my dorm room, finished my course work from last semester, started my new classes etc. Emotionally? Probably best represented by the scene from SpongeBob SquarePants where we are in his brain and it’s just tiny manifestations of Spongebob running around and screaming while some random drawers and cabinets are catching fire and burning in the background. 


March: surrounded by snow for a week because of one of my courses (where we have to experience nature) which A+ for nature and D- for my mental state and sleeping habits while I was there with a bunch of people from college that I didn’t know. Then: stressed out, more research for two of my papers, writing and re-writing, crying, not sleeping well, getting really sick and trying to get better. Finally: finishing two papers. Overall: -10/10

April: finishing the last paper I still have to do for the last semester, starting my fourth semester of college, going to classes. Trying to live instead of just existing but it’s hard. Especially because I was still mentally struggling from just barely finishing up The Biggest Project Ever before the deadline caught up with me. Only Academic Good Thing those months: I passed the exam that I was really scared about and that I thought for sure I had failed. Overall: 4/10

–> Study With Me videos helped me with getting things done, writing sentences down and not panicking even MORE. Especially this one „STUDY WITH ME (with music) 2.5 HOURS POMODORO SESSION!“ (I linked it. It’s a YouTube video.)

Other Things That Happened In March & April:

  • did the Four Temperaments test and (guess what) got ‚melancholic‘
  • Pen & Paper with my friends
  • Arya Stark did THAT


You can guess (LOL) from the above that I haven’t read much in March –> and you would 100% be right. I read one book AND put two books on-hold. (The Silent Companions & Red Wolf, Black Leopard.) I’m planning on reading them soon-ish. Probably in June or July because at this moment in time they remind of That Phase I started them in which I associate with Stress and Distress. Bummer! But I will definitely not put them on-hold foreverit’s not a dnf but more of a cautious not-ready-yet and will-pick-up-again. The one book I read was Bottled Goods which is about Alina and her husband Liviu who become Persons of Interest after his brother defects to the West. (My review from Goodreads is here.) It was short, relatively fast-paced, interesting and the symbolism of the cover in relation to the progression of the plot was well done.

April was mostly NOTHING when it comes to reading (at the start, at least) — I only picked up some books after half the month was already over. The first book I read was translated into german and it was a crime thriller set in Denmark called Blutmond („Bloodmoon“) — two police officers had to solve a case in which the murderer mixes drain cleaner with the drink of the victim — and it etches them from the inside. The book was mostly good, maybe a little too long and some elements could’ve been focussed on more but the writing was nice and the characters were flawed but realistic.



  • Bottled Goods
  • Normal People
  • Drive your Plow over the Bones of the Dead
  • Winter Journal
  • Goat Mountain

I’m officially on a BOOK BUYING BAN until the end of June at least. If you see this section aka „Book Haul“ in my next Monthly Recap please remind me of that fact lol. 


Ahh, I don’t know what I’m doing with my time. Time flies, flies, flies away from me and I can’t remember many things I did, books I read, films I watched. The seconds go by without anything getting done. It’s so weird and unfulfilling. Like, thanks! I hate it!! The first movie I watched was „District 9“ which kinda put me — who doesn’t watch that many movies to begin with — in a watching slump. It’s a Thing, soft hearts. I was expecting TO LOVE THIS movie and I didn’t. :c The premise was interesting and I loved the mockumentary/documentary format but it just did nothing special?? totally guessed the development of the story, totally guessed the character dynamics, totally guessed the progression of the society/government and the actions they were going to take etc. etc. etc. The second movie I watched was „The Cave“ and it was okay. I know. It was exactly as mediocre as that low-key okay makes it out to be. It wasn’t bad per se, though. I just didn’t like the „romantic“ subplot, the order of the deaths was too predictable and I wish they would’ve focused (even) more on the relationship between the brothers.

District 9 (2009)The Cave (2005)


I watched „Black Summer“ on Netflix in, like, two days and it was really good. I liked it a lot. Especially the different dynamics and the format of the episodes. The chased-by-zombies scenes were really interesting and heartpounding for me because the moments were really drawn out sometimes and that made it really anxious and realistic for me. I loved how everything kept coming back together and how you could see the story unfold from the different point of views. I was a big fan of the Rose/Spears and Sun/William dynamic and I would definitely watch a second season.

The second show I watched was „Love, Death & Robots“ on Netflix. It’s an animated anthology about (mostly) love, death and robots. lol. Very accurate title. The episodes are really short and interesting. I liked some more than others but overall it was really good, too. A few episodes really stood out to me for various reasons: (1) Sonnie’s Edge which was badass and cool and fascinating and I adored it COMPLETELY. (2) Shape-Shifters which was brutal and interesting and I enjoyed it very much. (3) Zima Blue which affected me on an emotional level and made me cry. Can’t properly explain it but it touched something inside of me and that was incredibly unexpected for me. Others that I liked include: Three Robots and Lucky 13.

The third show I watched was the Netflix sitcom „Derry Girls“ which can mostly be summed up with the word #relatable. On most of my days, I’m 25% Clare, 25% Erin, 25% James and 25% Jenny. On Mondays, I’m probably 70% Da Gerry and 30% Sister Michael. If you’ve watched Derry Girls please tell me which character you are lol. If you haven’t watched the show, then you are maybe confused now and I apologize for that. The first season was entertaining and funny and the characters are super duper realistic because they are very lovable and very flawed — I liked it quite a bit.

Bildergebnis für black summer posterLove, Death & Robots (2019)Nicola Coughlan, Dylan Llewellyn, Louisa Harland, Jamie-Lee O'Donnell, and Saoirse-Monica Jackson in Derry Girls (2018)

Also, I almost forgot to talk about my love for a few TV couples/duos. I’m super into Meredith/Deluca from Grey’s Anatomy right now because they are cute and fluffy with a sprinkle of sexy and I like that they laugh together and their moments are just so soft and warm. The second couple that I really started to ship over the last couple of months is Hope/Rafael from Legacies. I can’t believe I’m back in this TV world but they are so lovely; their chemistry, the honesty in their talks, their similarities. I’m completely in love with the way they talk to each other, the way they look at each other and they have so much potential to become even better friends and (hope-fully *pun intended) something more down the line. I’m so excited for their storyline in the second season. Ahh. Honorable mentions: Torres & Bishop from NCIS and the PUT SOMETHING IMPORTANT IN THE JAR SCENE (enough said lol) and Emre and Leyla from the turkish TV show Erkensi Kus who own a large portion of my heart.





  • pretty covers I like since the last time i did the recap thing!!
  • Malorie written by Josh Malerman (!!) –> the sequel to bird box(!)
  • There Will Come a Darkness written by Katy Rose Pool
  • Things We Say In The Dark written by Kirsty Logan
  • Ninth House written by Leigh Bardugo (!!!)

44564972 41823536 43459812 43263680

  • lol i had to make a little space between them because they all have this dark black color scheme and i love it high-key
  • High Key Fan™


  • I already want my book-buying-ban to be over so that I can buy some books that I AM SO HYPED FOR
  • Red, White & Royal Blue (!) + The Unhoneymooners + The Flatshare
  • give me some positively fluffy fanfiction and healthy romance book recommendations please, soft hearts, i would literally love you forever


  • Netflix‘ The Society + Netflix‘ The Rain Season 2 (!!)


I totally forgot to mention my TBR PURGE so let’s get this party started — I deleted all the books from my Goodreads To-Be-Read-Shelf that I added because of reasons™ when in truth (after searching my heart and soul–) I realized that I didn’t really want to read them. Oh, my.  In total deleted from shelf: 56 books –> Including:

  • Rebecca (Daphne Du Maurier)
  • The Girl in the Ice (Robert Bryndza)
  • Children of Time (Adrian Tchaikovsky) 
  • Deadly Class Vol. 1
  • Sharp Objects (Gillian Flynn)

I would LOVE some fluffy romance books recommendations and/or fanfiction stories! ❤ How was your month? Have you watched any good shows or movies or read some awesome Books?? 

26 Kommentare zu „(Monthly Recap) – March & April 2k19 // Non-Stop Panic, Pancakes, Black Summer, thanks! i hate it, Love, Death & Robots, Derry Girls + TBR Purge.

  1. I’m sorry to hear that these last few months were rough! Hopefully it’ll all be smooth sailing going forward though 😊
    I’ve been meaning to watch Derry Girls so I’m glad to hear that you liked it and found it so relatable! Also, Red White and Royal Blue has been one of my favorite reads of the year so far – I hope you love it!!!

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    1. Thank you, that means a lot! ❤ I hope so too. If you watch Derry Girls, please tell me who you are from the characters. I'm addicted to knowing people through their Derry Girls characteristics lmao. I'M SO STOKED FOR RED, WHITE & ROYAL BLUE. I have a feeling I will love it!! :))

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  2. omg so many good things 💞💞💞 i LOVE derry girls its so underrated + the one by jorja smith is my absolute fav of hers + matt maeson his music is SO GOOD i love „me and my friends are lonely“ by him 🥰

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    1. Derry Girls, yes!! I am literally so in love with Jorja Smith and Matt Maesons music. I listen to their songs the whole day long, just switching between them. Uhh, definitely going to check out that one! I really adore and can 10/10 recommend his song „Hallucinogenics“ too. ❤

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  3. Sorry to hear that you’ve had so much stress in your life lately. Hope things become less stressful moving forward. I hope you enjoy The Unhoneymooners and Red, White, and Royal Blue. I just finished both of those recently and thought they were great.

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    1. Thank you so much! Comments like yours really make my day when I’m feeling down. I have a feeling that I will absolutely adore both of those books and I’m very hopeful about that. I’m ready to feel good things again. I hope you have a lovely month! 🙂

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    1. Arya! Stark! I’m so proud of her and grateful that she is a female character that really exists in our TV landscape! Yay to Red, White & Royal Blue and The Unhoneymooners, I’m so so hyped for those two. I’m like a second away from ordering The Flatshare, too, ahh. If you love it, please tell me to buy it immediately. Thank you so much!! I hope you have a great week, too. 🙂

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  4. I’m sorry the past few months have been so chaotic! Hopefully this month things take a turn for the better!

    Don’t worry about having not read too many books in April– We’ve all been there. In fact, I’m currently in the midst of a terrible reading slump myself! But mental and physical health come first, so we should never put immense pressure on ourselves to read.

    Red, White, and Royal Blue looks incredible! I just added it to my TBR 😃

    Lovely wrap-up, I’m wishing you a happy and healthy May! ❤

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    1. Thank you so so much! Especially for your last sentence. I do hope that the next weeks will be better. I understand you completely with the terribleness of reading slumps. I agree totally with not putting pressure on ourselves to read. It’s 100% true and 100% difficult to feel even though you know it haha. But let’s keep trying to not feel guilty! Red, White & Royal Blue is super high up my anticipation list and I hope we both enjoy it when we get to it. Again: thank you very much for your comment. ❤ Hope you have a happy and healthy month, too. 🙂

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  5. I really hope that this month and all the upcoming ones will be brighter and filled with less stress, I am sending you all the love and positive vibes ❤ ❤ ❤
    I can't WAIT to read Red, White and Royal Blue, it sounds so good ahhhhhhhh, hope you will love it ❤
    Happy reading!! ❤

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  6. Great wrap up. I’m really sorry to hear it was a hard month overall mental health wise but it sounds like you stuck in there. I struggled a ton with depression and severe anxiety during University and sometimes it was just about surviving it, as suck as that is. I really hope this month has less stress for you and you get some really nice sunny and lovely days ❤

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    1. It means a lot to me that you took the time to write this comment, thank you so much. I’ve been struggling with depression and anxiety since high school but it got worse when I started college. Sometimes it really is all about surviving and getting through that phase. I try to remind myself of that but it’s obviously hard as you can clearly imagine from your own experience. It’s hard but it’s a tiny bit easier when people like you encourage me. That really lifts me up for a moment and I’m very grateful to you. Thank you so much again and I hope you have nice days in the month of May, too. ❤

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  7. I’m sorry to you’ve been having a bad time– I hate feeling stressed and like you have so much to do!! I send you positive thoughts and I hope May is a much better month for you!! 💛
    Yes Arya Stark did that– she is amazing!!
    And those covers are beautiful and I love the dark themes too!!😂
    I heard about the flatshare and it sounds really cute and interesting. I have also heard about Prince Charming by Rachel Hawkins which sounds like a cute read!!
    Happy reading and I hope you have a great May!! 💕

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    1. Thank you!! Feeling stressed out is exhausting and I’m super grateful for the positive thoughts. Arya Stark was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G in that episode. Very real with her emotions while still being super feisty, super strong and super dedicated to kicking white walker ass. The dark color theme is beautifully atmospheric!! Uhh, Prince Charming. Love that title. Happy reading to you, too! Wishing you a great month! 💛

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  8. Janina! I’ve only just stumbled across your blog and I’m sorry to hear you’ve been having a rough couple months! I have been there, too – there have been a few things about this whole year that has made it a tough one – and I am thinking so much of you and hoping things improve 🙂

    I also completely relate to reading-slump-ness; I’m way behind on my reading goal for the year and have to keep reminding myself that it’s no big deal!

    Are you a Rainbow Rowell fan, or have you read any of her books? She writes the LOVELIEST romances!

    Sending lots of love and hope you have a wonderful weekend 😀 ❤

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    1. Thank you so much! It really warms my heart when I get comments like this. I feel you on the tough things this year and reading-slump-ness. Both of those are sadly a big part of my life right now. I have read some Rainbow Rowell! ❤ I already own Carry On, too, which I'm super excited for. Thank you so much again!! ❤ Hope you have a great month of May! c:

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  9. Why was that SpongeBob SquarePants reference SO RELATALBE? I mean, it’s the 13th of May and I’m just now getting around to reading this post now because life is a mess and I’m procrastinating absolutely everything like there’s no tomorrow. But, hey! It’s happening!
    I started watching Derry Girls because it sounded really interesting, but the humour was giving me Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging vibes? As in like: how much second-hand embarrassment can I give you before you click off the stream? I can’t handle much, so the humour didn’t do much for me and I ended up not continuing, lol. But I did watch Quicksand in about three days (see me procrastinating like there’s no tomorow) and it was really good, actually! I was surprised by how hooked I was! I’ve been eyeing ‚The Society‘ recently and it looks interesting, but I am also kinda tired of post-apocalyptic scenerios, so I don’t know how to feel. I’ll probably watch the first few episodes and see if I like it.
    Also, Red, White & Royal Blue comes out tomorrow! Yohoo!
    Wishing you a fantastic May! 💞

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    1. Life really is a mess omg. An utter mess. I’ve never seen Angus, Thongs & Perfect Snogging but I can certainly guess what you mean lol. It’s not my brand of funny either but I could definitely appreciate that special and specific humour as something interesting to experience. I probably enjoyed it less in that aspect and more in the character study element with the different characteristics and behavior of the mc’s as a relatable factor. I’ve heard of Quicksand and Ther Society interests me, too. We’ll see what I’m in the mood for haha. Red, White & Royal Blue, yes!! So excited! ❤ Thank you so much, for you as well! ❤

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