Monthly Recap – May 2019 // Finding My Zen + Losing It Again, Roy Mustang Stan Time™ aka FMA: Brotherhood Rewatch, Book-Buying-Ban? Don’t Know Her, Voting, Netflix‘ High Seas & The Rain S2 + Earth is in trouble.

So — May happened. Happened fast and swift and violently. Most of the time. In other parts, it was very still and numb and underwhelmingly abstract. I’m not 100% sure what to think about this month but that’s the New Normal™ in my life at the moment, right? Life just keeps throwing exclamation marks at me while I continue my existence as a question mark. It’s all about balance, I guess lol. A LOT and NOTHING is going on simultaneously and it’s like I’m in two parallel universes at once. I could scream into my pillow at least twice a day currently.

*looking into the camera like I’m in The Office* You know, life is kinda maybe a tiny bit too hectic for me right now and I might need to push the pause button.
*the devil on my shoulder* LiFe Is tOo HeCtIc FoR mE I mIgHt NeEd tO PuSh ThE PaUsE BuTtOn.

2019 is kicking my butt. I’m behind on EVERYTHING in life, haven’t checked off any of the goals I set for this year, this month or this week. I’m working and working and working and not enough get’s done which means that my stress just keeps adding up into a massive to-do-pile. It’s heartbreakingly frustrating and I need a break.

I was basically chillin for two days, found my groove, did *some* stuff and then went directly back to my struggling-self. Repeatedly. I’m a second away from buying a ticket to fly somewhere far, far away from university in July/August. I am so tired of feeling this way and writing the same thing in these Monthly Recaps just over and over and over again. Nothing changes, everything stays the same. hOPEFULLY, change is gonna come!! and i’m gonna embrace it with open arms!!

Other Things That Happened In May:

• slow internet is my mortal enemy!!
• europe voted and i am a crumbling cookie about some of the results
• i organized my room and deleted some post ideas that i’m never going to go through with
• i’m researching medusa and trying to find some scientific sources that talk about that myth and it’s kinda difficult??
• the last ever episode of Game of Thrones aired and people were meh about it
• lots of political stuff happening besides the voting including some scandalous behavior from german parties o my
• me being sad when i’m giving 100% and not receiving it back (in love, communication, time, priorities etc.)

I’m giddy and happy to say that I’ve read three whole books this month and started two more. I’m finally getting back into the Reading Game and I couldn’t be happier about it!! The first book I read was Matt Haig’s Notes on a Nervous Planet which kinda disappointed me because I was really low energy and really high expectations. Shitty duo. A few sentences resonated with me and definitely portrayed our zeitgeist but most of the time it was just a little repetitive/oblivious/not that accessible.

The second book was David Vann’s Goat Mountain which definitely disappointed me because Aquarium means so much to me and I’ve tried to recreate those intense emotions with his other books and it’s not working at all. You can find my (somewhat) review here. The third book I read was Saeed Jones‘ poetry collection Prelude to Bruise which was really good overall. I didn’t connect to all of the poems but those I loved, I really loved. Definitely super interesting. My favorite poem was „Closet of Red“, I felt that one. I didn’t fall in love with a book in May but I read more than I HAVE DONE SINCE A LONG TIME and that was AWESOME in general.

The first book I started is Sui Ishida’s Tokyo Ghoul:re, Vol. 1 which I wanted to read because I’ve owned it for a long time and I’m totally in the mood for anime and manga currently. I’m not that far into it but I’m ready to see what’s in store for me. The second book I started is Polly Rosen-waike’s Look How Happy I’m Making You which I’m super duper enjoying and I’m stoked to read more stories out of this collection. It’s about women and mothers, women as mothers and mothers as women. It’s fascinating and honest and true and I am excited to read the rest.

I DID A BAD THING, SOFT HEARTS. I BROKE MY BOOK-BUYING-BAN AFTER ONLY THREE DAYS AND I DON’T HAVE A GOOD REASON EXCEPT I WANTED THOSE BOOKS AT THAT SECOND AND IT WAS 20% OFF.

• Prelude to Bruise
• Look How Happy I’m Making You
• second copy of The Hating Game
• My Lovely Wife
• The Piper’s Son
• Bloodwitch
• Aurora Rising
• Red, White & Royal Blue

To make my book-buying-ban more achievable and realistic — I’m allowed to BUY ONE BOOK for EVERY FIVE BOOKS READ. Ok? Ok. 

If I would’ve written this section last week, this paragraph would be blank — which is a true testament to me Procrastinating Even With The Things I Normally Enjoy mixed with a heavy dose of No Time For Anything Except Dread And Foreboding. Number Of Movies Watched Before Last Week: 0. Number Of Movies Watched This Week: 3. It’s like my media-consumerism-loving-heart kicked into overdrive before the end of the month lmao. Which, to be honest, was a nice change of pace. The first movie I watched was Netflix‘ Rim of the World which was kinda The Goonies/Stranger Things/Superbad/ This is the End with some Disney Channel vibes?? lol. It was a weird experience that I sometimes enjoyed and sometimes didn’t enjoy.

The second movie I watched was Netflix‘ Knock Down the House which is about four women (including Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez) challenging established senators by joining the political race and competing against them. It was both painful and uplifting and I’m very much glad that I found that film by accident because I was scrolling through the Netflix movies.

The third movie I watched was Netflix‘ Chasing Coral which broke my heart. I can’t put into words how much this movie hurt me and how angry and sad and heartbroken I was after watching it. I cried my eyes out and couldn’t stop thinking about it. Coral reefs are in trouble. The ocean is in trouble. Earth is in trouble. I can’t believe there are still people that don’t see the gravity of climate change. Please, if you haven’t already — watch Chasing Coral on Netflix. It’s so important and worth it to cry and think and rage over. 

LET’S START WITH THE MOST IMPORTANT BIT: I REWATCHED FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST: BROTHERHOOD. MY FAVORITE SHOW. I love it more and more every time I watch the episodes. (This is only my third time watching it all the way through.) I watched some reaction videos on YouTube for Game of Thrones and after that started to randomly switch my way through all different kind of reactions to all different kind of shows until I found TheFlamingShark’s Playlist for FMAB — and the decision to rewatch the show by watching ALL of his reaction videos (which are the episodes in full time and not cut down to the best bits) for ALL 64 episodes was made. IT WAS WONDERFUL AND DEFINITELY THE BEST PART OF THE MONTH OF MAY FOR ME.

Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood was the first anime I’ve ever watched and it still remains the best one I’ve ever watched. If you haven’t watched it yet, I really really really recommend it. It’s full of magic and action and intrigue; the characters are brilliant, the backstories are superb, the villains have their own motivation and are super interesting to watch, the plot and storylines of every character come together to build a complex web of actions and reactions that completely change your perspective and your feelings on certain events and/or people. i AM SO IN LOVE WITH THOSE CHARACTERS. Roy Mustang owns my heart. Riza Hawkeye owns my heart. Greed owns my heart. (That sounds so weird lmao.) The Elric brothers own my heart. Envy owns my heart. I JUST —

Moving on, the second show I watched this month was Netflix‘ High Seas. It’s a spanish show about two sisters going on a cruise – one to marry her fiancé, one to meet with a publisher/editor for her manuscript – and mURDER HAPPENS while they are traveling on the ship. It’s basically Murder on the Orient Express on a ship instead of a train. It’s filmed a little weird but definitely effective, the characters and the relationships between them are interesting and the overall concept of the whole show is incredibly entertaining. I’m not 100% on board with the execution of the story and some twists were a little cheap BUT THIS SHOW HAS POTENTIAL. I would not be opposed to High Seas getting a second season. I really adored the atmosphere, the location and the dynamic between Eva/Nicolás and the sisterly bond between Eva and Carolina.

The last show I watched in May was Netflix‘ The Rain Season 2. I WAS SO EXCITED FOR IT BUT IT DIDN’T DELIVER. And don’t get me wrong, it’s not bad! It just didn’t meet my expectations and I think it made some decisions that weren’t really smart in the long run (if there is going to be a next season.) The pacing was off, the ending was predictable and characters died that I think they shouldn’t have killed off because they added another layer to the overall world building and group dynamic. I’m slightly grumpy about this. Also, it was quite definitely noticeable that they had two episodes less in season 2 (S1: 8 episodes; S2: 6 episodes) to continue their storylines, add new aspects + new people, establish new dynamics and deepen already started ones. It was all over the place and I would’ve loved for the group to have been on the run a little longer!! Just out there exploring, push and pull & cat-and-mouse-game with the people chasing them, having scenes with the new characters + them being part of the show without yet meeting the core group and then being confronted with each other on, like, episode 4 out of the blue. i’M BABBLING + I have even more thoughts but let’s make a cut here lmao. 

• Maverick Sabre – Glory (Official Video)
• Faouzia – Born Without a Heart [Official Performance Video]
• Billy Raffoul – Lovely (Official Audio)
• Wrabel – The Village
• Sody – The Bully (Official Video)
• Faouzia – This Mountain [Official Music Video]
• Faouzia – Exothermic (Piano Version) [Official Performance Video]
• Jonas Brothers – Someone You Loved (Lewis Capaldi cover) in the Live Lounge

• the first three blog posts are from April but I only read them in May (because I bookmark + read later when I have the time to not rush through them <3)
• The Female Gaze Project: Mothers and Daughters (Aurora Librialis)
• Let’s Discuss: My Recent 5-star crisis – my battle with perfection, being a critical reader + the community’s romanticization of 5-star reads (Taasia @ Librae Paints Pages) 
• 8 Things I Should Have Known When I Started Blogging (Xandra @ Starry Sky Books)
• FOUL IS FAIR BY HANNAH CAPIN – EXCERPT + COVER GUSH (Fadwa @ Word Wonders)

• PRETTY NEW BOOK COVERS ! ! !
• Foul Is Fair (Hannah Capin)
• Wicked As You Wish (Rin Chupeco)
• Tweet Cute (Emma Lord) 
• THE ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL but I have a special place in my heart for the FOUL IS FAIR cover because that is kinda 10/10 my aesthetic

• Speak the Ocean (Rebecca Enzor)
• The Starless Sea (Erin Morgenstern)
• Hourse of Earth and Blood (Sarah J. Maas)
• covers are getting prettier and prettIER– there is such a HIGH STANDARD NOW AND I ABSOLUTELY ADORE IT

• i love all of those covers so much AND I AM IN AWE OF THEM

• I’m excited to check out Well Intended-Love (chinese Drama & Romance show) and Pachamama (french animated movie) which are both coming to Netflix in June
• Getting through my (long) stress phase and being done with applications
• Hopefully buddy-read Red, White & Royal Blue??? (Anyone haven’t read it yet who would like to do that with me in June/July?)

How was your month? Did you watch any COOL TV shows? Something you totally loved on Netflix that I should check out? Can you recommend any good books or movies about climate change?