(Monthly Recap) – March & April 2k19 // Non-Stop Panic, Pancakes, Black Summer, thanks! i hate it, Love, Death & Robots, Derry Girls + TBR Purge.

March was the most stressful month in forever. Life just kept throwing deadlines and problems at me and just added more things onto my to-do-list; I was down and sad and anxious and just not in a good mental and physical state. It was bad, soft hearts. I don’t want to think about it– I already have so much to do for the next semester at college while still reeling from the one before. It’s a disaster and I’m a mess. 

April was super weird overall — I was basically in this weird in-between phase the WHOLE month throughout. Physically? I moved back into my dorm room, finished my course work from last semester, started my new classes etc. Emotionally? Probably best represented by the scene from SpongeBob SquarePants where we are in his brain and it’s just tiny manifestations of Spongebob running around and screaming while some random drawers and cabinets are catching fire and burning in the background. 

March: surrounded by snow for a week because of one of my courses (where we have to experience nature) which A+ for nature and D- for my mental state and sleeping habits while I was there with a bunch of people from college that I didn’t know. Then: stressed out, more research for two of my papers, writing and re-writing, crying, not sleeping well, getting really sick and trying to get better. Finally: finishing two papers. Overall: -10/10

April: finishing the last paper I still have to do for the last semester, starting my fourth semester of college, going to classes. Trying to live instead of just existing but it’s hard. Especially because I was still mentally struggling from just barely finishing up The Biggest Project Ever before the deadline caught up with me. Only Academic Good Thing those months: I passed the exam that I was really scared about and that I thought for sure I had failed. Overall: 4/10

–> Study With Me videos helped me with getting things done, writing sentences down and not panicking even MORE. Especially this one „STUDY WITH ME (with music) 2.5 HOURS POMODORO SESSION!“ (I linked it. It’s a YouTube video.)

Other Things That Happened In March & April:

• did the Four Temperaments test and (guess what) got ‚melancholic‘
• Pen & Paper with my friends
• Arya Stark did THAT

You can guess (LOL) from the above that I haven’t read much in March –> and you would 100% be right. I read one book AND put two books on-hold. (The Silent Companions & Red Wolf, Black Leopard.) I’m planning on reading them soon-ish. Probably in June or July because at this moment in time they remind of That Phase I started them in which I associate with Stress and Distress. Bummer! But I will definitely not put them on-hold forever — it’s not a dnf but more of a cautious not-ready-yet and will-pick-up-again. The one book I read was Bottled Goods which is about Alina and her husband Liviu who become Persons of Interest after his brother defects to the West. (My review from Goodreads is here.) It was short, relatively fast-paced, interesting and the symbolism of the cover in relation to the progression of the plot was well done.

April was mostly NOTHING when it comes to reading (at the start, at least) — I only picked up some books after half the month was already over. The first book I read was translated into german and it was a crime thriller set in Denmark called Blutmond („Bloodmoon“) — two police officers had to solve a case in which the murderer mixes drain cleaner with the drink of the victim — and it etches them from the inside. The book was mostly good, maybe a little too long and some elements could’ve been focussed on more but the writing was nice and the characters were flawed but realistic.

• Bottled Goods
• Normal People
• Drive your Plow over the Bones of the Dead
• Winter Journal
• Goat Mountain

I’m officially on a BOOK BUYING BAN until the end of June at least. If you see this section aka „Book Haul“ in my next Monthly Recap please remind me of that fact lol. 

Ahh, I don’t know what I’m doing with my time. Time flies, flies, flies away from me and I can’t remember many things I did, books I read, films I watched. The seconds go by without anything getting done. It’s so weird and unfulfilling. Like, thanks! I hate it!! The first movie I watched was „District 9“ which kinda put me — who doesn’t watch that many movies to begin with — in a watching slump. It’s a Thing, soft hearts. I was expecting TO LOVE THIS movie and I didn’t. :c The premise was interesting and I loved the mockumentary/documentary format but it just did nothing special?? totally guessed the development of the story, totally guessed the character dynamics, totally guessed the progression of the society/government and the actions they were going to take etc. etc. etc. The second movie I watched was „The Cave“ and it was okay. I know. It was exactly as mediocre as that low-key okay makes it out to be. It wasn’t bad per se, though. I just didn’t like the „romantic“ subplot, the order of the deaths was too predictable and I wish they would’ve focused (even) more on the relationship between the brothers.

I watched „Black Summer“ on Netflix in, like, two days and it was really good. I liked it a lot. Especially the different dynamics and the format of the episodes. The chased-by-zombies scenes were really interesting and heartpounding for me because the moments were really drawn out sometimes and that made it really anxious and realistic for me. I loved how everything kept coming back together and how you could see the story unfold from the different point of views. I was a big fan of the Rose/Spears and Sun/William dynamic and I would definitely watch a second season.

The second show I watched was „Love, Death & Robots“ on Netflix. It’s an animated anthology about (mostly) love, death and robots. lol. Very accurate title. The episodes are really short and interesting. I liked some more than others but overall it was really good, too. A few episodes really stood out to me for various reasons: (1) Sonnie’s Edge which was badass and cool and fascinating and I adored it COMPLETELY. (2) Shape-Shifters which was brutal and interesting and I enjoyed it very much. (3) Zima Blue which affected me on an emotional level and made me cry. Can’t properly explain it but it touched something inside of me and that was incredibly unexpected for me. Others that I liked include: Three Robots and Lucky 13.

The third show I watched was the Netflix sitcom „Derry Girls“ which can mostly be summed up with the word #relatable. On most of my days, I’m 25% Clare, 25% Erin, 25% James and 25% Jenny. On Mondays, I’m probably 70% Da Gerry and 30% Sister Michael. If you’ve watched Derry Girls please tell me which character you are lol. If you haven’t watched the show, then you are maybe confused now and I apologize for that. The first season was entertaining and funny and the characters are super duper realistic because they are very lovable and very flawed — I liked it quite a bit.

Also, I almost forgot to talk about my love for a few TV couples/duos. I’m super into Meredith/Deluca from Grey’s Anatomy right now because they are cute and fluffy with a sprinkle of sexy and I like that they laugh together and their moments are just so soft and warm. The second couple that I really started to ship over the last couple of months is Hope/Rafael from Legacies. I can’t believe I’m back in this TV world but they are so lovely; their chemistry, the honesty in their talks, their similarities. I’m completely in love with the way they talk to each other, the way they look at each other and they have so much potential to become even better friends and (hope-fully *pun intended) something more down the line. I’m so excited for their storyline in the second season. Ahh. Honorable mentions: Torres & Bishop from NCIS and the PUT SOMETHING IMPORTANT IN THE JAR SCENE (enough said lol) and Emre and Leyla from the turkish TV show Erkensi Kus who own a large portion of my heart.

• Matt Maeson – Cringe (Stripped)
• Skinny Living – Let Me In (Official Video)
• Billy Raffoul – I’m Not A Saint
• Jorja Smith – The One
• RAYE – Sober (Stripped)

• TV, Movie & Literature Characters That Are 100% Hufflepuff (loved writing this post + Paddington is mentioned!!)
• Pancake Tag (ft. lots of gifs that will probably make you hungry <3) –> books + pancakes what could more could you ask for?

• let’s whisper // DO YOU GENUINELY LOVE THE CONTENT YOU’RE CREATING AND CONSUMING? (by Ilsa @ A Whisper Of Ink)
• Stop defining women by the men in their lives | written by Gail (on Northern Plunder)
• Going Undercover // An Interview With Book Cover Illustrator and Designer, Jess Cruickshank (on Novels & Waffles) –> I love this series, A++

• pretty covers I like since the last time i did the recap thing!!
• Malorie written by Josh Malerman (!!) –> the sequel to bird box(!)
• There Will Come a Darkness written by Katy Rose Pool
• Things We Say In The Dark written by Kirsty Logan
• Ninth House written by Leigh Bardugo (!!!)

   

• lol i had to make a little space between them because they all have this dark black color scheme and i love it high-key
• High Key Fan™

• I already want my book-buying-ban to be over so that I can buy some books that I AM SO HYPED FOR
• Red, White & Royal Blue (!) + The Unhoneymooners + The Flatshare
• I’m SO IN THE MOOD FOR ROMANCE AND LOVE IN GENERAL
• give me some positively fluffy fanfiction and healthy romance book recommendations please, soft hearts, i would literally love you forever

• Netflix‘ The Society + Netflix‘ The Rain Season 2 (!!)

I totally forgot to mention my TBR PURGE so let’s get this party started — I deleted all the books from my Goodreads To-Be-Read-Shelf that I added because of reasons™ when in truth (after searching my heart and soul–) I realized that I didn’t really want to read them. Oh, my.  In total deleted from shelf: 56 books –> Including:

• Rebecca (Daphne Du Maurier)
• The Girl in the Ice (Robert Bryndza)
• Children of Time (Adrian Tchaikovsky) 
• Deadly Class Vol. 1
• Sharp Objects (Gillian Flynn)

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I would LOVE some fluffy romance books recommendations and/or fanfiction stories! ❤ How was your month? Have you watched any good shows or movies or read some awesome Books??